The DC DAYE Competition Bagpipe Detuner (tm)
Copyright 1993 David C. Daye
The DC DAYE Competition Bagpipe Detuner (tm) from DC DAYE Electronic
Music Products (Ltd.)<>
Modern Highland bagpipe contests really aren't any sort of competition at all. They're just
serial demonstrations, lacking the give-and-take and offense/defense struggling of the battles of
of yore. WELL NOT ANY MORE !!
Quit whining about That Other Band and take the offensive!
- The DC DAYE Bagpipe Detuner (tm) from DC DAYE Electronic Music Products
(Ltd.) lets you command of your fate.
- The Bagpipe Detuner (tm) is a state-of-the-art MIDI- (tm) and
MultiMedia- (tm) compatible sound attack system, designed to extend your opponent's
tuning time beyond
- The Bagpipe Detuner's (tm) hidden shotgun sampling mike and 80986 Dodecium
Microprocessor (tm) captures the exact tonality of your opponent's chanter, drone or drum
- Instantly (as soon as Win-doze finishes loading) our secret, unpatented SASER transmitter
delivers a focussed beam of pure sonic energy, into a region of space no bigger than the
instrument. No human can get into position to hear its sound.
- Simple physics does the rest. The resulting interference pattern ensures that the instrument
will never tune, "should they tune till the next Ice Age!" (tm).<>
P.A. Patch (tm), hooks the Detuner into any Games or concert P.A. system for those
occasions when you can't get to your opponent in advance. Sub-audible to the audience, the
Interference Pattern Preferring You (DIPPY Technology [tm]) instantly drops the bass
drone(s) or drumhead fundamental 7-1/2 hz. in pitch, ruining even the most carefully built sound
- Strike-in Strike-out (tm) (P.A. Patch req'd) detects the presence of a 3-beat roll and
issues a 9-second bass drone squeal on the 2nd roll.
- Cutoff Cut-up (tm) (P.A. Patch req'd) duplicates one piper's last 2 notes, the instant
the band stops.
- Embelllllisher (tm) (P.A. Patch req'd) randomly generates extra gracenotes and
- Friendly Forces I.D. Module (tm) ultrasonically suspends the Detuner during your
"By the Right: FULL STOP !!"<>
"We guarantee to render Every bagpipe Useless as if Actually Burst!"<>
The DC DAYE Competition Bagpipe Detuner (tm) and accessories are available from
Mark-in-the-Loanin' at 614-666-1313, use your Master Card 'cause I'm going to need a visa
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